Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oh god it's open bar.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
