Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
