is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
