Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
its liver damage thursday
Randomize