You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
