I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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