i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
