sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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