I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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