i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
