And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
