considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
