so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
