I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
