Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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