ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
