Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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