Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
