the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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