just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
