when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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