whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
