Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
