you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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