Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Even my vagina gasped.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
