Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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