The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I will die if light touches me.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
