i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize