So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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