Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
