dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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