Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
