anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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