I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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