Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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