My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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