nut hugger
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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