Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
