Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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