why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
