The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As shirtless as possible
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
