i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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