You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
