I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize