it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
