Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So here I am, sexting at work.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
