So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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