2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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