How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
