I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
