but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
