A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
