We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize