No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
