She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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