I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
