..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
