i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
