girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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